Bound and Determined

Making things okay -> depends on what was wrong ->  mine was figuring things out for myself after realizing that my new world is six time zones from everything I've ever known. 

My upset: My mom and sisters left London today, they took off from the Brompton Tube Station. Yes, I've been here for 2 1/2 weeks but it was as hard seeing them go as me leaving Marshall in the first place. I knew it was coming-> been planning my own departure from Mid-Mo for years and theirs from me since March. The same cold-sweat solidarity hit me this morning, the same feeling that made me want to stay glued to that God forsaken plane at London Heathrow and head back to NYC, stars and stripes, familiarity: 'I'm alone, for real, for good, completely.'

So, what do you do when you're literally giving yourself a strong shove in your own back while your heels are gouged firmly in the ground refusing to take a step forward? 

Be alone. I creepily walked through Old Brompton Cemetery telling myself, "This is what I want."

"But 3 whole MONTHS?!"

"Once in a lifetime..."

"No Mom?!"

"You're going to be a better person, a more marketable job candidate after this."

"No dad, sisters or Tessie?!"

Deep Breath, inhale, exhale

"No 4th of July, swimming, margarita BBQs!? What was I thinking?! .......... Right, for the best, I WANT THIS. I've made lifelong friends already, spent 10 days with my family, I've only seen and experienced one one-hundredth of what London has in store for me, not to mention Europe..... Good GOD, I'm going to GREECE, Brussels, Amsterdam. Not everyone has my drive, courage, desire, curiosity about life away from Missouri." 

As I unlocked my front door in South Kensington, I smiled...South Kensington, lather, rinse, REPEAT: South Kensington...

I'm so lucky...